I find my dad’s presence suffocating and I find it really hard to be around him .Please don’t give your father the power to dictate your happiness. Nobody deserves to have that power. You don’t deserve to put up with his cruelness. You are wonderful.
<3 It sucks having to be around mine too. I accepted a long time ago he is the way he is and that’s that. I don’t bother making eye contact anymore, I’ll answer the occasional question briefly and that’s about it. I do my best to avoid him because he’s a huge weight on my shoulders and I don’t want the good moods and pleasant things I’ve worked for to be ruined by his presence. It just sucks big time that he has to eventually ruin something because he’s a selfish asshole who only cares about himself.
My day just ended on a really shitty note because of my father’s stupid shit. He’s basically just ruined one of the last things I look forward to. It never fails with him. He will always be that dark cloud that hovers over me. I can withdraw completely and he will always be there complicating everything. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to not let it affect me it will destroy something dear to me in the end. I’m tired of trying to stay afloat with him around & having to deal with or dodge his whims and cruel words & attitude. “Everything happens for a reason.” I’d like to no what the reason is for me constantly having to deal with this shit every fucking day of my life. Seriously what’s the reason? To make this day even better I forgot that my prescription ran out yesterday so yay high blood pressure to end an already stressful & disheartening day.
I have to say it really blows when all of your stress and anxiety decides to sit in your shoulders and neck. I’ve been feeling a stiff neck coming on for almost a week now and it’s really annoying. I can’t get my neck to fucking relax.